Monday, November 10, 2008

Dipset

Cam'ron of Dipset is the brand new spokesman—sorry, person—for the American Death Industry. He believes that this verifies to spokesperson-watchers—who are, we are all aware, legion and shit—that he is a man of great intellectual heft. Finally, he will be taken seriously. He wakes up every day with a renewed sense of self.

His new self engages in mirror conversation with the old, less-respected-for-his-gravitas Cam'ron.

A tree in the yard, privy to the nuances of the conversation, dies.

The soul of the tree reaches the center of the Earth, where its roots are plugged into the soul of the rest of the world.

The rest of the world survives an attack by the soul of the tree killed by the subtext of self-doubt that occurred during Cam'ron's conversation with himself in the mirror.

The soul of the world takes its revenge by destroying all trees the world over. As the trees the world over wither, Cam'ron boards a helicopter—an ex-military helicopter that was purchased by the American Death Industry to transport its spokespeople—and is flown to Providence, Rhode Island, where he meets with the American Death Industry and is shot in the face.

Dipset, motherfucker.

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Blake wrote a bunch of pieces about famous dead people. I have been writing responses. Above is my response to his piece on Tupac.

(I have one left, Blake. Then we should find a publisher.)

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Happy Pillz Featuring Aesop Rock - Murs


I miss pills. I stopped taking pills. I think I should start taking pills again.

What do you think?

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Daniel Bailey's east central indiana. It is good.

5 comments:

Gene said...

Take some Zoloft.

DB said...

matthew, i'm glad you liked it.

i recently started taking 5-htp. i like it.

captcha had me type "ingoate" which means "to take blood from your upper lip with your teeth and rub it into your chest until it is all absorbed and you are whole again."

DB said...

i just looked at your blog again and had to comment.

this time the captcha says "deplau"

which is a german word mean "to push snow back onto the road in a very sexual manner."

The Man Who Couldn't Blog said...

Thank you for explaining your captcha's. You should define ten and send them to Mud Luscious Press.

BLAKE BUTLER said...

cam'ron is made of tea