Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Whenever I watch that, I want to write it.

So, what's next?

I think recently I finished the revisions, edits, and endings to a book of short stories called Happy Rock. I think so, but I am not sure.

I am not sure about a lot of things. I am, as the name of this blog indicates, not sure how to blog and being unsure I haven't decided that it is impossible. I am not sure when a story is finished, and because of that I have decided that a story is never finished and I am allowed to tinker with it for as long as I live.

I am not sure how to write a novel, so I think perhaps I am writing a novel write now. It has beetles in it. The beetles perform surgical procedures.

That's all I will say about that.

Because I am not sure what else to say. Not sure how much to say. Not sure why I felt like saying that.

What happens if it is never finished—which, I think I have established, it never will be—and I have mentioned it here. Will you hold me to it? You? Will you ask me about it? Will you ask me about the progress of it? Will you hold me to it?

Who are you? Please tell me who you are.

Can you blog?

Can you finish a story?

Can you use a beetle to perform a surgical procedure?


I was going to write about gnomes. I have been thinking about gnomes.

This is a gnome:

This is a gnome:

Did the first gnome simply wish to rub noses with the Argentinians? The theme song to David the Gnome says that if your heart is true, you will find them, too. Does this indicate that the Argentinians terrorized by the terror gnome simply had true hearts?

This is another song about gnomes:

Gong wrote about gnomes:

To disparage Swiss bankers, people call them The Gnomes of Zurich. This is because gnomes live underground and hoard their wealth.

I have wondered in the past if the gnome was an anti-semitic symbol of some sort.

People put gnomes in their gardens for some reason. They seem to me to invite people into your garden. Because they aren't scary. You could step on them very easily. And that would be the end of them. Do you want people in your garden? Is that it? Do you? Where people go, rabbits are almost guaranteed to follow.

You didn't think about that, did you? I thought not.

Silly you.

That's some stuff about gnomes. You should nominate the gnome portion of this blog post for a Pushcart Prize.

Monday, October 12, 2009


I'd like to say that I haven't updated because I've had a lot of writing things going on lately. Mostly, though, I've been playing Fallout 3. And, actually, I'm right now thinking about going home and playing Fallout 3 tonight, too.



Happy Cobra Books is very happy to announce that it has published its second ebook. That book is a story called "Conor Oberst Sex." It's very good.

It is accompanied by an EP with music by my friend Michael Sanchez. The EP is called Music Is My Boyfriend. It's also very good.

Enjoy them both, please.


Last week, a review of my book A Jello Horse appeared in The Believer, one of my favorite magazines. I'm humbled. Thank you, Jim Ruland.

This is doubly exciting because the book is now BACK IN PRINT!

Also humbling: Michael Kimball, a brilliant writer, wrote my life on a postcard.