Monday, December 17, 2007

Pepsi

I think maybe I have so much trouble blogging because there's no money in it. Or there's no money in it for me now. But maybe I should explore some corporate sponsorship opportunities.

Let's consider this post a sort of tryout. I'll be sending the text to the good people at Pepsi to see if they would, from here on in, act as a corporate sponsor for The Man Who Couldn't Blog.

Here goes:

The Man Who Couldn't Blog is sponsored in part by Pepsi.

Pepsi: it's that burning, searing feeling in the back of your throat that tells you that it's working. Pepsi: twice a day for the rest of your life, and at the Pearly Gates, you'll be ushered past the rest of the losers and allowed to see God immediately. Pepsi: when life gives you lemons, throw the God awful things out the window and enjoy a tall, cool glass of America's second favorite bubbly, brown nut beverage. Pepsi: when all else fails, ask your grandfather for one, and he'll likely go out and buy you one because he's a very lonely old man. Pepsi: sure. Pepsi: reasonable doubt is just a sip away. Pepsi: so much more than you'd ever imagine. And also, so much less. Pepsi: who the fuck cares, when it all comes down to it. Pepsi: wild in the streets, waiting for the last great shoe to drop. Pepsi: animals in the sun, waiting for the rainy season. Pepsi: foreigners are likely looking through your window right now, so try to act cool. Pepsi: free to the next 7000 customers.

Thank you.

Soon the money will come rolling in.

***

Happy Cobra Books has finally printed a real, actual book. There's only one copy. If you are able to read this post, the book is not for you. It's for someone who can't read.