Choices

There’s no such thing as angels is something my little brother once said to me as we were standing on the roof of the house and thinking about jumping.

There’s no such thing as angels, and if you jump you’ll break a leg or possibly an arm. This is what he said when he continued talking.

Me, I tried my best to ignore him. This is not always an easy thing to do because my little brother has himself a really loud voice.

Abnormally loud, I mean. When my little brother talks, you can here him all around the neighborhood, like as if he was a tornado siren. He’s that loud, voice-wise. When my little brother—let’s call him Leon—let’s out a high-pitched screech, like say if I were to pinch him on the thigh or something, that noise would break windows in the house. That noise does break windows in the house, actually. Not just would. It does.

And then I have to pay for all the windows with the money from my allowance, which is nearly enough over a month to cover one pinch-related window breaking.

There’s no such thing as angels is what Leon says.

We can make little halos, though, and that will make it pretty much like we are the angels that Leon doesn’t think exist.

Of course, there are other choices we could make, too.

Like say I take the boy that we are calling Leon by the belt loops of his jeans, and say I get a little running start, and say I swing him back and forth and back and forth, and say I see if I can throw him far enough that he lands on the windshield of our car. Say I do that.

Say he goes right on through that windshield, and scatters glass everywhere, including in his mouth and up his nose. And the blood comes out his nose.

And the blood floods from the cuts in his gums and on his tongue.

Say that’s the choice I decide to make, him hollering and waking up the neighborhood. (Did I mention that it is 3am?)

And his holler making the ground rumble. And the house next door falling down.

Say I make that choice. What happens to you, right there watching?

***

The illustration for this post was done by Ellen Kennedy. She recently read Summer Blonde by Adrian Tomine and recommends it.

She said I didn't have to link to anything else, but I will link to Bear Parade, where you can read a book of her poetry. And a bunch of other really, really good books.