rumpled

climb clamoring up the skywall fireside chat reminder mark. read haven has pulled release revolving another enormous normal nomadic reasonable ache in the eyes. size is built response. weight is ripped response. hold is dispassionate. release is romantic. age is over. vague is precise. leave living in corners.

***

I'M FINE. HOW ARE YOU.

***

things i'm going to learn do next year







Once I learn how to do these three things, I will have the best year ever.

clvrskll

Now doing a monthly black metal etc. column here.

That is all for today.

The Mouse and His Child

The movie that mightily disturbed me as a child:



My thanks to Jason for knowing the film.

death

when i was little—and i sometimes still really feel little because i'm not that tall or anything like that—i saw some sort of cartoon show where under the water there was a can of dogfood and some characters of some sort went under the water to find that can of dogfood under the water and when they got there they looked at the dogfood can and the label on the dogfood can had a picture of a dog excite about a dogfood can on which there was a label with a picture of a dog excited about a dogfood can on which there was a label with a picture of a dog excited about a dogfood can on which there was a label with a picture of a dog excited about a dogfood can on which there was a label with a picture of a dog excited about a dogfood can on which there was a label with a picture of a dog excited about a dogfood can on which there was a label with a picture of a dog excited about a dogfood can on which there was a label with a picture of a dog excited about a dogfood can on which there was a label with a picture of a dog excited about a dogfood can on which there was a label with a picture of a dog excited about a dogfood can on which there was a label with a picture of a dog excited about a dogfood can on which there was a label with a picture of a dog excited about a dogfood can on which there was a label with a picture of a dog excited about a dogfood can on which there was a label with a picture of a dog excited about a dogfood can on which there was a label with a picture of a dog excited about a dogfood can on which there was a label with a picture of a dog excited about a dogfood can on which there was a label with a picture of a dog excited about a dogfood can, etc.

i wish to g-d i could remember which cartoon show that was, because now sometimes when i'm thinking about death—which is, i'm sorry to say, a thing i think about more and more and more—i think about that a lot.

in the same way i think about how in synedoche, new york, there is a theater building within which is a model new york within which is a theater building within which is a model new york within which there is a, etc.

now when i think about death—which is, i'm sorry to say, a thing i think about more and more and more—i just think about deeper and deeper levels of interiority, and interiors inside interiors, and, frankly, the claustrophobia of it all scares the hell out of me.

but then, in an attempt to calm myself down, i remember just how enormous the interior of the mind can be if the mind decides it wants to be enormous.

that helps, i guess.

***

nothing to see here.

winners

Make Tirade Fair & Brux Callison and the Entangled Photons both won my The Moon Tonight Feels My Revenge song contest. Go check out the other entries. My sincere thanks to all the people who participated. I'm touched you put your time and effort into creating something for my little book.

So there's that then. I think that's it. I am pretty sure I have nothing else to say about the book. I sure this will be a relief to the rest of us.

***

VOTE!

All right. Here it is. Time to vote.

First, go HERE and listen to the songs that were inspired by The Moon Tonight Feels My Revenge. (Scroll down a bit.)

Then vote. You have until noon, Pacific Standard Time, November 23, 2010.

UPDATE: Fire in My Bag is my own personal one-man black metal project. The song contest winner will receive one of the very small number of hardcover copies of The Moon Tonight I am printing up. As I will be printing one for myself anyway, the Fire in My Bag song on the page is not eligible.

shoes

Let's make shoes. Let's us all make shoes. You make shoes. Me make shoes. Us make shoes. And let's not be ashamed of the shoes we've made. Let's us be okay with our us made shoes.

Let's make shoes out of leather.

Let's make shoes out of burlap.

Let's make shoes out of hemp.

Let's make shoes out of grease.

Let's make shoes out of rubber.

Let's make shoes out of, I don't know, leaves maybe.

Let's make shoes out of cocaine.

Cocaine shoes! Let's make and walk in cocaine shoes. Let's bark and dance in cocaine shoes. Let's take off and put on cocaine shoes!

Everyday shoes=cocaine shoes

Yes.

***

As I type this, copies of my book The Moon Tonight Feels My Revenge are being mailed out to people who ordered them over the last few months. Enjoy!

As I mentioned, I'm going to have a very small number of hardcover copies of the book made. They will not be for sale. One person will get one, though, if they win my Moon Tonight song contest. The deadline for entries was going to be this week, but I think maybe I'll give it another couple of weeks because I've had some late interest from folks who like to make music.

Right now there are six entries here at the book's contest bandcamp page. (Fire in My Bag is me and I am not eligible to win.) If you would like to write a song about the book, about one of the stories in the book, or simply a song inspired by the title, cover, or black metal-ish aesthetic of the book, do so and contact me about where to send the file and song "cover art," etc.

I'm at

happy
cobra
books

at symbol

gmail

dot symbol

com

Check out some of the entries, too. We have an electro-dance number, a metal roots rocker about heavy metal show violence, a noise-y sample-y drone, a punk bleakrock rant, a piano banjo duet, and a slightly medieval ballad.

They are all lovely.

(If you have not purchased a copy of the book and want some inspiration, song writers who want a pdf of the book can have one for free. Write me.)

***

Three bands I am listening to:

Barn Owl - Light from the Mesa from Thrill Jockey Records on Vimeo.

BARN OWL

Wolvserpent | NYC @ The Acheron | 05 Oct 2010 from (((unartig))) on Vimeo.

WOLVSERPENT

Death Drive Trailer from Flingco Sound System on Vimeo.

WRNLRD

the book

Important stuff below. First, though, some images.



Spinal Tap, Spy Kids, Spy Magazine, Spina Bifida, Spiral Stairs, Spider Bites



I made a galley of the book Happy Rock. I made these galleys on an Espresso Book Machine at the bookstore where I work. I made the galleys—five in all—to give to the people who have consented to take a look at the book and consider offering a blurb for it. There are four people who have said yes. I made an extra, which I will probably just keep for myself.



Winter Soldier, Win Some Lose Some, Wind in the Willows, Winn Dixie, Window Washer



Oh Fever One Day, Famishing the Next



The world of galley creation is cutthroat, but equally it is sublime. The world of blurbing, though, is not so. It is hard and cruel and always the strong win out.




I think I would like to arm wrestle a monkey. Not a small one, though. One of the midsized ones. I've been working out a little at home.



Free Essay Topics—Go Ahead and Use It, Folks

On Suffering in Silence, and Then Interrupting Said Silence with a Really Loud, "Ouch!"



I think this all looks pretty good, this series of images of my galley as it is being made by the Espresso Book Machine.

I think I'm happy with this post.



Don't forget, though, that The Moon Tonight Feels My Revenge, my minibook of stories and stories about one-man black metal bands, is available. It will be real and physical probably by SAMHAIN!

There is a song contest for the book. Write a song and send me the file, and I will have a contest, and the winner will get a free hardcover copy of The Moon Tonight Feels My Revenge. This contest has a bandcamp page. If you need inspiration, I will give you a digital copy of the book. Only serious requests need ask for a free digital copy. Because if you want one and are not musical, you can actually get a digital copy of the book for free by paying with a tweet at the Keyhole Press website.

Song contest

When will the new book "drop"? Samhain!

Okay, so here's what I'm thinking. You could, if you are so inclined, write a song for my book THE MOON TONIGHT FEELS MY REVENGE. I will start a bandcamp page on which I will collect songs that have been written for THE MOON TONIGHT FEELS MY REVENGE. We will, at the end of November, vote for the very best song dedicated to THE MOON TONIGHT FEELS MY REVENGE. The winner will receive one of the five special hardcover copies I will have printed of THE MOON TONIGHT FEELS MY REVENGE. You may enter one or two songs, if you are so inclined.

My one-man black metal band, Fire in My Bag, is not eligible.

***

Museum of Me

jesus

shh.

Hunger

I'm off food right now. Just for a little while. Had a tooth yanked, and am trying to just go with cold liquids, as instructed, while the pit in the back of my mouth heals over.

I forget, sometimes, the pleasant disorientation that accompanies hunger. The subtle high of malnutrition? The slow shock felt in the body when the body does not receive the food it is used to receiving?

(Very different, this, from, say, a low calorie, vegetable diet. A salad at mealtime instead of nothing at lunch or a smoothie at lunch, for whatever reason leads to a hard edge to my personality. I sharpen. It is—unpleasant.)

Light-headed, but not at all uncomfortably, at my desk. Reading Bluets and thinking of writing. Posting to my blog, which, of course, is something I am unable to do.

Sometimes I think about not eating for a week just to see what would happen. Sometimes I think about not sleeping for a while, too. Just for the heck of it.

Then I accidentally eat a sandwich. Or take a nap.

***



Me? I'm me. What's your excuse?

***

Rose Hobart by Joseph Cornell



***

The Moon Tonight Feels My Revenge.

New book can now be pre-ordered.

The Moon Tonight Feels My Revenge: Stories and One-Man Black Metal Bands includes three short stories (one of which appeared in Bust Down the Doors and Eat All the Chickens; the other two have never been published anywhere) and a series of short pieces about one-man black metal bands.

The bands in question are: Xasthur, Striborg, Wrath of the Weak, ad Burzum.

The book has a blurb from Lance, the King of Black Metal. Lance said: "My only problem with this book is that it was printed with ink instead of being scrawled in goat's blood. It was a pussy move if you ask me. Other than that, I deem the Moon Tonight Feels My Revenge completely Taint-worthy. Read it by torchlight or I will fucking crush you."

***

Influences on book:











Matthew Beard:



Lotte Kestner:







Joe Biel:



This list will continue to grow. Check back.

MORE4Sale

Make an offer. Free book with every picture purchased.

Trades are acceptable.

***

My name makes a fine Black Metal logo, yeah?

Polaroids4Sale

Polaroid, Impossible PX 100 film





SOLD

Original for sale, if you're interested. I need to fund my Impossible project film buying habit. Grey spots on the flower were actually on the scanner bed and are not on the picture itself.



Also for sale. Make an offer.



Not this one, though.

***









***

The three button suit.

Never button the bottom button.

***

Currently working on a cover for my Keyhole Press mini-book, The Moon Tonight Feels My Revenge.

Currently listening to lots of Guided by Voices.

Currently writing a secret project.

Currently playing Mass Effect.

Currently drinking gin and vodka tonics.

Currently reading Against the Day.

Currently worried about dying suddenly.

Currently running six miles four times a week.

Comment

Here's a comment I received on my blog:

"If you were a dinosaur, you'd be a Jerkasaurus Rex. From the Jerk-Ass Period."

I am a dinosaur. I am a Jerkasaurus Rex. I am from the Jerk-Ass Period. No ifs about it, anonymous commenter. I am. Live with it.

Don't move fast. I can see you when you do that. It's best to remain still and quiet.

And if I find you, you know what then? Then I make sarcastic comments. Then I ridicule your appearance. Then I chew on your ankle.

And then I sleep.



This is my life. This is the life of the Jerkasaurus Rex.

Quite a life.

Quite a life.

***

Geocities, once you built a railroad. Made it run. Made it race against time. Once you built a railroad, now it's done. Webhost, I can't spare a dime.

***





***

I'm reading on Saturday at Pilot Books with Matty Byloos and Carrie Seitzinger. It's at 6pm. Please come.

best of the web 2010

Today, we promote Best of the Web 2010. It's a fine book, and you should buy it!

Here's a full list of the contributors.

Here is a Large-Hearted Boy Book Notes from various contributors.

Here is a review by Jonathan Messinger.

***

Here is my cover of Ryan Manning's Sky Polaroids.









***

And now, back to Best of the Web 2010. My story, Caves (Lamination Colony) appears in it.

Caves features an apartment building with large glass windows that let people on the street see into the apartments. And the building is shaped like the set of The Hollywood Squares.

When I wrote about it, I was thinking about this building in Seattle:



There. Now you have a note on my process.

***

This song is featured in the story:



I like this Ink Spots song, too:

I think I have an anchor. I feel it.

My anchor doesn't pull down, though. And it doesn't pull up. It doesn't pull to the side. Or the other side. Or the other side. Or the other side. Or the four places in between the side.

My anchor doesn't pull back in time. It doesn't pull forward in time. It doesn't hold me steady in time.

My anchor does not anchor me to any direction that is beyond those of the four dimensions.

My anchor does not anchor me to my own personality. My anchor does not anchor me to any other person.

My anchor is not attached, as far as I can tell, to anything. It does not anchor me to anything at all.

But I have it. I know it's there.

I know because even though my anchor doesn't seem to exist in any one place or time, I have seen my anchor.

I am seeing it now. I see the anchor. And, because I see it, I know it is there.

And so I know it is an anchor. And I know it is mine.

And I know I'm attached to it.

I just don't know what to do with it—with the anchor knowledge—beyond that.

***

Run DMT.

***



Tex Arcana.

***

I will be reading at Pilot Books on July 17 with Matty Byloos and Carrie Seitzinger.

keyhole

I am pleased to announce that soon Keyhole Press will release a small book of mine called The Moon Tonight Feels My Revenge. It contains three stories—only one of which was previously published—and some short pieces about one-man black metal bands.

This is exciting.

This is even more exciting: next year, Keyhole Press will be publishing Happy Rock, my collection of short stories about Upper Michigan.

Please enjoy these celebratory photos of an old pinball machine that has been turned into a booth at Shorty's.

sky

You were asking earlier how the sky was doing, right?














Everything seems normal. I'll drop you a line if there are any changes.

Mostly, though, I'm just mad at it. You maybe don't really know what that's like, right? What it's like to be mad at the sky.

Someone's gotta be, don't they?

If not me, who will be mad at the sky? President Obama, maybe? I doubt he's going to be sufficiently mad at the sky. I mean, I feel like he's the sort of person who might mostly just be, like, disappointed in the sky. He might tell you that he's really disappointed in the sky, and because of that disappointment, maybe you'll get the sky to try harder.

Someone involved in this movie might have been mad at the sky:



but I think all those people are dead and can't be mad at the sky anymore.


Maybe you think God should be mad at the sky. God can only ever really be mad at herself. That does us no good, I'm afraid. No good at all.

So I'll do it. I'll take the weight. I can take the weight. I think I'll be okay with that. I'll be the one mad at the sky.

Because, I figure, fuck it. What else am I going to do.

***