June

A thing you could say about June is that he was—mostly—raised right.

Another thing you could say about June is that he got nothing but hell for being named after the month of his birth.

Another thing you could say about June is that because he had been injured as a young man and lost his mouth and nose to the injury, and because the doctor had been out of extra mouths and noses to replace the ones lost, and because the doctor had instead used a curved bicycle horn in place of June’s mouth and nose—with a hole for the windpipe—June was an odd looking man.

Another thing you could say about June is that it would’ve been much better if he had been born in August.

Another thing you could say about June is that he would sometimes cover his bicycle horn mouth with his hand, and then he’d call you over. Then he’d put your hand on his belly, and he’d squeeze the bulb on his horn. And you’d feel his belly rumble.

Another thing you could say about June is that his parents loved him very very much, even after the accident made a sort of a mute of him.

Another thing you could say about June is that June loved his job, which was riding around on a riding mower, cutting all the grass of his neighbors.

Another thing you could say about June is that he loved his job because he more than anything else hated grass.

Another thing you could say about June is that he honked once for yes, twice for no.

Another thing you could say about June is that it was honk, pause, honk, pause, honk, pause, all the God damned night long.

***

This post was illustrated by Gene Morgan. He designs and edits Bear Parade.

Bear Parade has a new book called Compassionate Moose. It's by Mazie Louise Montgomery. I can't wait to read it.

Thank you, Gene. Congratulations on your recent wedding.

***

You will notice a link to something called Happy Cobra Books. That's a tiny press I've decided to start. The tiny press is publishing a tiny book of tiny stories by me. I think I'll have copies next month. I will sell you one at a tiny price.

I will do other things with the press, too, but I'm not sure what. Possibly a graphic short story by a friend. Possibly longer versions of the interviews I edit for Hobart, designed as pdfs and available free to download.

Other ideas are welcome. As are reader-submitted logo designs, which will go in a logo archive.