There was a man with two hands. (And I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, it isn't me, though I, too, have two hands.)
Because his left hand employed an extremely competent intelligence agency, and because it used the latest in cutting-edge, shallow-orbit satellite technology, it was always fully briefed on what the right hand was doing. And it snitched, constantly. He was, you might imagine, right handed, and his left was forever making power plays. Leftie had it figured if he grew offended enough with the shenanigans of the right hand, he would one day cut it loose, or at least promote the left to the primary hand position. Left envied the responsibilities.
As he was a tolerant man, he humored the left, but favored the right. The left never got anywhere. Its ambitions, wasted. It couldn't even blog.
Like me.
