Canadians

This is a true story. I wouldn't. I wouldn't make something like that up. It's true. True true.

I find that the border guards are not all that rude. When I was little, I once had a border guard between Canada and the US ask me if my dad had any computers or fresh fruit in the car. He had already asked my dad. Then he asked me. He assumed that I would rat out my dad.

I would've. For the record, I would've ratted out my dad. If it would've made my dad love me slash pay attention to me, I would've ratted him. Sigh.

This is a photo of me and my dad:



Sigh.

It's not only border guards who want me to rat out my dad. But mostly it's border guards. Borders between states in the United States of America like to stop me when I am driving in my car, and they like to ask me to get little again, so that I will be honest. And they like to ask me if my dad has any computers or fresh fruit somewhere.

He probably does, at home. He probably has this stuff that they are asking about. But I don't really know for sure. I never ask and he never tells me. Plausible denial. Willful ignorance. Don't ask, don't tell. It's all game theory, here. Don't learn and you don't need to lie.

Canadians, though, are out to get my dad. It's because my dad is a floating ball of light.

Canadians hate light. Canadians need less light. They want less light. To Canadians, there is no difference between need and want, though. It's all the same to them. All the same. To us, to we normal people who are estranged from our dads, need is need and want is want.

But nope.

Before I get to blogging, though, I need to confess. I have fresh fruit and computers.

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I'll be reading at AWP in Denver. Here's a poster for one of the readings:



Here's a poster for another of the readings:



Those two readings are on the same day. I will run from one to the next. (I will not actually run run, but I will move quickly from one to the next.

I also hope to do a reading in an elevator at some point. For Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens. Details to come.

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Recent HTML Giant stuff I'm proud of:

I talked about talk.

I interviewed Matthew Stadler of Publication Studio.

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Some updates on A Jello Horse:

—A fourth printing is on its way. Cover.

—Another excerpt accompanies this interview with me.

—Reviewed along with my friend Travis Nichols's book Iowa here.