Peaches

Theme/motif: Fruit offers mystical experience. (Huh?)

Sometime I stop drinking for a while. It's just that it feels like the thing to do, so I do it.

It's good, sometimes, to do that, don't you think?

And when I stop drinking for a while, I start, instead, to do some running.

And when I stop drinking for a while, I start, instead, to crave peaches.

I go out running three, maybe four nights a week. I start with just a couple of miles a night.

And then a couple more.

I have a nice little route. North a mile and a half. Turn around. South a mile and a half. South another mile. North a mile. And I'm home.

And as I run more, I get to the point where I go north, south, south, north, and then north, south again. Seven miles.

And as I run more, I get to the point where I go north, south, south, north, north, south, and then south, and north again. Nine miles.

And in the fridge, I try to keep peaches.

When you get to four miles, you notice that the two miles in the center don't seem to happen. You feel the first mile. You feel the last mile. You think about the first mile. You think about the last mile. But the ones in the center just happen without you.

Instead, you just listen to music, and look east and west at the mountains. you travel in your head, just like when your driving a car.

When I get to seven miles, something happens at mile six. I start to want to cry. I never really do. I never actually have tears come out, but I'm overwhelmed with this need to cry. And I don't know why.

And that's when I get to finish up the last mile and really enjoy a peach.

I cut my peaches in half. And then in quarters.

I tend to hold the peach up and inhale before I eat it. I just smell it.

I eat the peach very slowly.

And it occurs to me, somehow, why I felt like crying. While I eat the peach, my desire to cry while running becomes plain, and open, and sensible, and clear. It's nice.

It's nice to understand, entirely, the weird way brain chemicals fuck with ones emotions.

When I finish the peach, though, I forget what I just understood.

All that clarity disappears.

Leaves me unable to do all sorts of things. Blog, for instance.

***

I made a video for the band Tao Lin and I are in, Sad Bear vs. Happy Cobra.

Go see a Creation Stories video, too.